Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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This blog is only kept for memories sake.
I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard
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©Glamouresque. |
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
School was boring. I almost fell alseep during physics lessons. Maths test was a disaster. Can tomorrw faster arrive? I can't wait to play my horn. Okay i shall continue playing my pokemon and stop blogging like this. Thank you for reading this ridiculous post. Bye peepos:D Monday, January 28, 2008
Hello peepo(: Today is lihua's birthday, and i shall therefore wish her a happy 16th birthday(: School was rather BORRRRING today. Went libary after school. With Choonkun Kelvin, and Mrs yaw. Gossiped quite alot too(: Haha(: To guest: Say whatever you want. I dont care(:
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I've finally thought it through. There's no point waiting for nothing, and hoping that things will eventually be okay. You've already moved on, two months ago. I'm only just wasting my time. I know i've been a bitch in that previous relationship, but people do make mistakes. And i'm just sad that you're the one whom i've made mistakes on. But you made me realise my mistakes, and i will change it. To hanwei: Thank you for all those good memories, i'll treasure them always, and sorry for the bad ones. Good luck, and good bye...(: Friday, January 25, 2008
Heeeeeeello peepos. School today was pretty much the same. The usual And that IS really suprising, teachers complaining about us being TOO QUIET is seriously getting on my nerves. =.= And mrsmurali just have to be a sickening old nag and complained that we're TOO NOISY. Oh seriously laaaaah. Make up your mind! Quiet? or noisy? =.= Okay just something random. I randomly clicked on a song celine dion sang. I Surrender. And it's pretty nice(: Okay. Back to the subject. Chemistry lesson happened in a blurrrrrr. Sheesh=x Missrina went reaaaaally fast and well, we don't quite get what she said. Fwahaha. I think we're sooooo dead. Chemistry test is on next friday. And, chinese test on next monday, tuesday, biology test on next thursday, and well physics test on wednesday i think. Okay, goodbye A1s, hello hell. I'm soooooo gonna flunk chemistry, physics, AND biology. Well, if missrina ask us something like "XXXXsoloution.. blahblahblah.. What is the method used to seperate the solution?" Than i'm gonna be soooooooo dead. Hrumph. And if XXXX is a !#$%^& substance, than i'm gonna be TWICE as dead. Cause cause cause, how on EARTH would i know if the substances is soluble or not? Should use what type of method!? OMIGOOOOSHH. And i shall keep it SHORT and SWEET. I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MR PANG TAUGHT. Fwahahha. I'm ready to go to hell ;D Physics is hmm. Okay i guess? Be kinda confusing too. I'm DEAADD! Got to start revising on saturday and sunday and i'll have to treat everyday as an examination day. Like than can stress myself. Fwahaha. I'm going bonkers. =.= Guess i'll do abit homework later. Raaaaaah. So borrring D: Band was hmm. Kinda bad. I'm tired.. really tired.. it would really help if everyone of you just play your own parts properly, and not making me shout/yell at you people. I don't want to and i don't feel like doing it anymore. I'm tired.. really really tired... Okay, something random again=.= Discover Your Past Life Grab your tux — in a past life you were an Emperor penguin of distinguished character and notable charm. Here's what we know about you: Adored by all, you looked particularly dashing in your top hat and tails. Quite the visionary, you brought popular theater to the ice-skating rink. "Cats...on Ice!" and "The Saturday Night Fever Ice Capades" were two of your best-received works and were especially big hits with your friends and neighbors. Your fame would have spread worldwide if not for the fact that you looked exactly like every other penguin on the ice cap. Frustrated, you made a brash attempt to assert your individuality: You threw away your penguin suit; purchased a racy, powder-blue number with frilly cuffs; and set sail for the mainland. International acclaim eluded you, but you were quite content spending the rest of your days in Tierra del Fuego, where your all-ice-skating production of "Hamlet" met with great praise and commercial success. Fwahahaha. I'm a penguin in my past life! :D Okay, back to band. Did footdrills afterwards, was very tiring=.= That's all for today i guess. P/s, If you've noticed, i seemed a little bit more cheerful today right? hahs. I don't usually blog THAT long-.- Wednesday, January 23, 2008
"You will never forget your first love. That's what makes it so special. You love so hard, so deeply, and so intensely because you don’t know any different. It's the best until it is over. Then you hurt like you've never been hurt before. Eventually you love again, but you love differently. You will love more carefully, more cautiously. Just know that there is so much more love waiting for you, but there will always only be one first." "What is more painful - thinking that you should hate him, or knowing that you can't?" I wish.. i could turn back time.. Hello peepo. I'm sick. Throat infection. Tsk. I HATEE getting sick! Getting sick = No band, and i will miss out lessons(Not that i actually yearn for it lah. But on the other hand, it's really important-.-) Getting sick is really really bad, for me. I can barely speak, and yes, i sound a guy. Gosh=x Tuesday, January 22, 2008
1) Single, Taken, Naked, or Flirty- Single. 2) Are you happy with that?- Not reaallyyy. 3) Would you still kiss your ex? - -.- 4 ) Have you ever had your heartbroken?- Duh yes? 5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?- No. 7 ) Have you ever talked about marriage with another person?- No laahh. 8) Do you want children?- LOL. Ask me 10 years later-.- 9 ) How Many?- Refer to previous answer. 10 .) Would you consider abortion?- NOOPE. 11. ) If someone liked you right now,would you want them to tell you?- Yup. 1 2) Do you want someone you can't have?- Maybe? 13 ) Have you fallen in love?- Yes obviously? 14) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?- Yup. 15) Do you believe that you can change for someone?- I dont believe i could actually do that last time, but now, yes. 16. ) Is it a good day today?- NO. 17) Have you ever broken a heartbefore?- Ermm..-.- 18 ) Does your ex still have feelings for you?- Nope. 19) Do you still have feelings for them?- Hmmmmmmm....... 20)You wish to have a bf/gf for n0w?- Probably. 21)what now you wish for?- For true love(: 22)if you have bf/gf n0w...do you really love them?- Yes. I will love him with all my heart(: Hellooo peepos. School's pretty boring today. Almost fell alseep during physics and maths lessons=x Really tired lahh. Probably should'nt have written the chinese compo yesterday. Cause i'm freaking damn tired. And now i'm gonna faint from hunger. Sheesh=x Don't think i'm eating lunch today. -.- Got back my maths paper and i got 15/25. And we got 'scolded' by mralbertteoh. Okay, i seriously don't like him. No offence-.- And there's a chemistry test this friday, physics test next wednesday, chinese spelling and test on monday tuesday and wednesday. Oh fucking hell. Guess i wont be able to slack anymore luhh. D: Saturday, January 19, 2008
Went out with ck today, and marcus joined us later on. Went kovan. Was kinda fun actually, hehs. Tried to break that fucking keychain Went home afterwards at around 7pm. Pictures up! I seriously don't know the lady in red. Fwaha. Ignore her! And choonkun's msging aheeem. Haha. Lol. He don't know i took this. Haha. Once again, he CAN'T smile properly. Ohh well. =x Show us your teeeths! HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. Hmmmmm.. Marcus's shyyyy. Haha Friday, January 18, 2008
Yunzhen, me, jolyn and justina(: Wednesday, January 16, 2008
School today's pretty much the same, and yes, VERY tiring. Had maths and english test, and well, i think i flunked it. I'm like so dead cann? And it's like the FIRST test. Sheeeeeesh=x Band was pretty much okay. Had a frenchhorn meeting. Sorry for being fierce and mean during band practice.. sorry. But, i really had no choice. I laid in bed yesterday and thought about those things that happened in the past. Thinking of all those good time we had together. And if, if i actually opened my mouth and talk last time.. and if i actually treasured you more, and if, i actually stop being a selfish bitch.. maybe, things wouldn't be in this state now.. But what's the point regretting now? Bye peepo. I'm gonna do some self-reflection. Monday, January 14, 2008
Had a verrrrrrrrrrry tiring day today. Lessons were as usual, msrina start teaching chatpter 3 and completed half of it after 2 periods. And she went quite fast. -.- Other lessons was as usual, and PE was kinda fun. Haha. Well, we learnt floorball. Hehs. And it's still played the same way when i'm in primary 6(Instead of hitting the ball, we hit people's legs=.=) Partnered yunzhen, and she gave me a bruise on my chin by hitting the ball the SAME time i hit and well, the ball sort of flew up. And hit ME. M-E. Yes, ME! TSK. And she made me cough till i get hiccups. -.- Thanks ALOT -.- Band was as usual. Did footdrills after warming up for 30 min plus. And i was the timer-.- So freaking tired-.- Thats all i guess. Who cares if your teacher is teaching faster or slower than mine? Please lah. And, doesn't mean a person who takes pure sciences is suaning you or is arrogant. Get it? Saturday, January 12, 2008
Woke up at 10 plus this morning, had piano lessons at 11.15. And now i'm kinda tiredddddd-.- Okay, i was bored and took some zilian pictures: Smileeeee; like the way i do:D School uniform(: Friday, January 11, 2008
Had a super tiring day today. Had lessons, went for recess, skipped lunch, go for band practices, tried and failed to be a sucessful salesperson-.-, got splashed by bryant accidentally, had gastric pains and lastly go home. Thats about it i guess. Thursday, January 10, 2008
-"One day you'll love me, the way I loved you. One day you'll think of me the way I thought of you. One day you'll cry for me, the way I cried for you. One day you'll want me, but I won't want you" Okay i think that quote is super fucking true. And i DONT mean me. -"You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?" -"Love is letting go of the one you love, hoping that they will come back to you when they realize what they have lost." -"Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful." -"Why do we wait until it is too late? Why do we let someone else have what we were too scared to reach out and take?" Dont think too much peeps. I found all of them in the same page, and i think some people will think that way too.. Oh yea. This is the best! -"Now I believe it when people say love is blind... 'cause I must have been blind to love a person like you." -"The one who breaks your heart is a devil of his love, but the victim is the angel and the light that shines above. Just came back from school. Was supposed to find mrsyaw together with choonkun, kelvin, alvin, and darrel, but she have to attend a meeting and well, so we made use of the time to get some homework done. Hehs, gossiped abit too. School's as usual, thats all i guess=x Tuesday, January 8, 2008
School was pretty much boring today. Some random pictures: Hehs. Don't say i'm zilian, I'm not! Whatever. I still hate you. Monday, January 7, 2008
Today was super duper tiring. Chinese lesson first period. They grouped as accordingly to our marks, and guess what, i'm in e2, or rather the B class. Lol. And Eunice, Yunzhen, Kelvin are in the same class to. Well, that's not all but these are just SOME. Turns out that my chinese teacher is mali. GOSHGOSHGOSH. Heard that she's freaking badddddd. Sheeesh=x And she scolded us today, and she's like. URGH. Get it? -.- English lessons were as usual. Mrsmurali droning on and on, and people complaining that they're going to sleep just by listening to her. Did quite alot of spot-the-mistakes-in-this-sentence-and-name-the-grammar-rule questions. Done about 2 pages of it, and hey, i can remember every single rule. Hahaha. PE afterwards. And well, i think misssem became rather piantai. She made us run ONE round(outside school) and than, she took our heightandweight(turns out i'm still 159cm(FOR TWO ENTIRE YEAR!) and heck, i'm thinner-.- Lost about 2kg. =x) and she made us do some shuttlerun afterwards. About uh, FOUR times? -.- And than, she made us LIE on the DIRTY floor and instructed us to do something that requires your leg to rise up for 20 times. AND THAN, she made us ran up and down the stairs for 20 times. =.= And mralbertteoh din't come to school today, and maths lessons was a borrrrrre. Chemistry lesson was totally terrifying! Missrina taught us an ENTIRE ONE chapter. And she went reallyyy fast. Quite hard to catch up. Lol. =x That should be all i guess. Band was rather tiring also. Chionged high notes for the entire sectional. It's suprise that i can't play the titanic during band practice. =x That should be all. (: Sunday, January 6, 2008
Went out with nigel, miaoying and choonkun today. Went to the esplanade, and siewhua and huimin joined us later. Was super duper fun! ((((: Okay, want the details? Look at the pictures(: TAKE ONE! TAKE TWO! Heehe. FINAL picture of the 3 frenchhornists(: Hehs. I'm behind nigel. LOL Hehe. Spot me? Saluting to sir The four of us(: LOOK AT MY HAIR EFFECT! Heh. TWIST EVERYONE! Haha. I agreed with miaoying that we will push nigel after counting to 3. Turns out he can still smile happily! HAHA. Nigel did this. HAHAHA(: LOL. Choonkun said i look like Pontianak (: Okay, rather random picture choonkun took-.- Me, and miaoying. (: Choonkun, and me! NIGEL. (: Hello peepo! Good morningg! Okay thats all. Hehs. Thank you, pink ranger, for consoling me yesterday(((: Saturday, January 5, 2008
Okayyyyyyyyyyy. I've decided to be really lazy for once and start work on uhm. Monday. Hehs. But i'd study a teeny weeny bit i promise(: Going to esplanade tomorw. YAY. (: 1. When do you feel your best? a) in the morning b) during the afternoon and early evening [x] c) late at night 2. You usually walk... a) fairly fast, with long steps b) fairly fast, with little steps c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face d) less fast, head down e) very slowly [x] 3. When talking to people you. . . a) stand with your arms folded b) have your hands clasped [x] c) have one or both your hands on your hips d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair 4. When relaxing, you sit with. . . a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side b) your legs crossed [x] c) you r legs stretched out or straight d) one leg curled under you 5. When something really amuses you, you react with... a) big appreciated laugh b) a laugh, but not a loud one c) a quiet chuckle [x] d) a sheepish smile 6. When you go to a party or social gathering you... a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know [x] c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed 7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted... a) welcome the break b) feel extremely irritated [x] c) vary between these two extremes 8. Which of the following colors do you like most? a) Red or orange b) black [x] c) yellow or light blue d) green e) dark blue or purple f) white g) brown or gray 9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are... a) stretched out on your back b) stretched out face down on your stomach c) on your side, slightly curled [x] d) with your head on one arm e) with your head under the covers 10. You often dream that you are... a) falling b) fighting or struggling c) searching for something or somebody d) flying or floating e) you usually have dreamless sleep [x] f) your dreams are always pleasant POINTS: 1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6 2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1 3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6 4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1 5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2 6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2 7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4 8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1 9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1 10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1 Now add up the total number of points. [39] OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care.' You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. 51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate. 41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them u p and help them out. 31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken. 21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature. UNDER 21 POINTS : People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you' re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't. Friday, January 4, 2008
Yesterday was ratherr fun. Went cp's libaray after school with choonkun kelvin and alvin. Everyone of us borrowed 2 books each. And 2 x 4=8, and you'll get a discount thingy from i-forget-where. Okay. So we all borrowed 2 books each, and i do hope they'd remember to return them on time. Sheesh=x I don't wanna get a fine-.- Today was just target setting, which was done in less than 10minutes. Well, you shouldn't be surprised you know, considering that miss rina insisted that we hafta put A1s for ALL subjects, and it's all done in a blinkofaneye. Heehs. But i did put some A2s though. Haha. Maths, and chinese. =x Had CME or rather CD lessons afterwards. Thankgodness there's no talks taking place in the hall. Pheeeew. Well, CD lessons' rather borrrrrrrring. Miss rina went through some stuffs about cybersomething. And well, we did group work afterwards. And heyy, i went over and sat with yunzhen on jolyn. 3 persons on 2 chairs. Hallelujah. -.- It's no suprise that i had a back ache and a numb butt(-.-) afterwards. Next time, you'd be coming over, you hear that? Jolyn and yunzhen? Heehs. The timetable were flashed afterwards, and guess what, Mrsmurali is my english teacher AND geography teacher. OMIGOSHHH. Why on EARTH do we even have such teachers in sengkang!?(no offence-.-) and we'll all fail with her teaching us. Sheesh=x Seems like i'd hafta do self revision for english and geography. Miss kalidal is our SS teacher, miss (i forget what) is our physics teacher, miss jarina is our chemistry teacher, and __ dennis is our bio teacher(okay i dont know WHY ON EARRRTH CAN'T THEY HAVE REMEDIALS ON TUES AND THURS!? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeshhh=x Oh yea, just to make things look EVEN worse, we're having PE on monday. Drats. Had band afterwards, and before band practice starts, elisse and miaoying brought the 4NCOs for some, uhhhm shouting exercises. -.- Heh, i don't know why but i just can't shout loudly just now. Probably not in the mood i guess=x I was soo freaking nervous, and started ranting-.- Band practice was rather random. Ho. Played LOADS of songs. And we had sectionals before that. Haha. Was pretty fun though, haha. I was rather crazyyyy. Keep suggesting songs to play for the secones. Heehes. Thats all for today i guess. :D Guys, DON'T ever break a girl's heart. They're fragile. W•H• I•T•E• I don't really know right now.. •B•L•A• C•K• Your single but u like some one. •P•I•N•K •taken and confused at some things •Y•E•L •L•O•W•Wish you could go back in time... •B•L•U•E•Taken,loving it and love that person with all your heart •O•R•A• N•G•E•Like someone but you don't know if they like u back for sure •P•U•R•P •L•E•taken but like someone else •T•E•A•L •Your a ninja .G•R•E• E•N•taken and love the person your with but still confused with somebody else. •R•E•D•Single, but in love with life, family,and friends Wanna guess whats the colour? ;) Wednesday, January 2, 2008
First day of school was rather depressing. =x Was almost late. =x Having sat with yunzhen during the parade square, i realised that i'd eventually hafta pin up my hair, sing national anthem loudly, and well, blahblahblahblah. Cause my left side is exposed. All the teachers are standing on my left side, and mr zul keep going through that path again and again. ... ... ... Any one wanna switch places? Form teacher is miss rina. And she's rather fierceeeeeeeeee. Gosh=x And And 3e1 is a super duper QUIET and UNRESPONSIVE class. Goshh=x *Sigh* I want to go back to 2e4!!!!!!!! I've got everything i ever wanted last time. But now, i've got NOTHING. Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Hello peepo. Happy new year! It's 2008 already, and 2007's over. *Sigh* New year resolutions are made, and i'm going to try to stick to them. Hehs. And i'm NOT telling what the new year resolutions are. School's reopening tomorw. And whatthehell should i bring? -.- Don't tell me to bring every single thing. Sheesh=x |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |