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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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This blog is only kept for memories sake.
I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard
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©Glamouresque. |
Monday, December 31, 2007
I'm listening to les miserables just now. I'm suprised though, the song is extremely nice. Heehs. I want the scoree! Haha. No lah. I'd wait till i've finish mononoke and phantom and 7th night first. Had piano lessons in the morning. Actually, i've forgotten there's piano lesson today. Until my bro said so. Sheesh=x Okay i'm listening to alvarma now. Heehs. The horn part is super damn nice cann. Even though it's not the main melody. Hehs. *Sigh* It's the last day of 2007 already. Tomorw, it'd be 2008. And i want to stay in 2007. Those days are the best days of my life. *Sigh* &i hope we won't drift apart.. Goodbye 2007! Sunday, December 30, 2007
Okay. I'm super duper hungry and i'm waiting for my lunch to arrive at my doorstep at about 1.45pm. Hehs. And no, it's not a fairytale. Haha. Yea, i know, food don't drop from the skies. Haha. Whatever. Mummy and bro bullied me into placing an order for pizza. Sheesh=x *Sigh* 2007 is gonna be over soon. Time to forget all those unhappiness and move on. Time to be serious again. Time to stop crapping and waste precious time playing computer and chatting on the phone. Time to start Got to go, byebye! Saturday, December 29, 2007
Went out with Choonkun and Lizhen to hougang mall just now. Was supposed to go cp, but i suggested going hougang mall because cp is becoming more and more borrring. Went to the libary and start doing maths. And Lizhen decided to befriend the rubbishbin and sat next to it, accidentaly hitting it a few times. Haha. Went walking around afterwards, and went to the arcade, then home. Here are the pictures: Dont shy away from the cameraaaa. Oh hey. That's my paper-.-  It wasn't supposed to be blur. Haha, Lizhen knocked it-.-  Heehe. Caught her unnotice! :D  Heh. Not blur riggght?  Heh. Second time unnoticed!  :DD  Nobody's looking at the cam except choonkun.  (: Now EVERYONE's looking at the cam(:  And i was bored yesterday. Haha  (((:  Thats all peeps! Thursday, December 27, 2007
Boring day today. Whateverrr. Whateverrr. Whateverrr. Whateverrr. Whateverrr. Whateverrr. I'm boreed. Borrred. Borrreed. I want someone to talk with me. =( The right hand keychain was rather pretty so i bought it. Haha. Hm. I'll probably throw the left one away though, or i'll save it for the future. -.-  Smileeee(:  He's trying to act dumb. Ho-.-  New shirrrrt(:  Tuesday, December 25, 2007
This is probably the WORST christmas i've ever had. No presents, nothing. Nobody to celebrated with. *Sigh* Cleaned up my room today. *Sigh* Thankyou, Joan(: Oh santa, you're treating me badly this year..Why wont you give me what i want? A fabulous christmas? Merry christmas. Monday, December 24, 2007
Okay. I think i'm dying. *Sigh* Can't walk properly! My feet's numb. -.- Goodbye this miserable earth. I'm going to play sims. Because thats the only place you can have everything you ever wanted. Love, money............ Saturday, December 22, 2007
Miaoying tagged me sometime ago and well, i wont do the quiz cause i've already done it before. Just change the status from attached to single. Done! Sorry miaoying! New quiz: Do you prefer decent or wild guys?- Decent. Are fat guys a total ewww?- Nope. What was the biggest lie a guy ever said to you?- Hm. What was the sweetest thing a guy ever said to you?- Hmm. Do you think guys are worth your tears?- No. One word to describe guys?- Ass. (Some lah-.-) Do you like guys who smokes?- No. Do you prefer romantic or sweet guys?- Both:D Do you prefer a popular dude or just an ordinary boy next door?- Ordinary boy next door. Do you keep the presents that your ex's gave you?- Yea. What was the sweetest thing you ever did for a guy? Hm. Ask the guy lah. I can't remember. Have you ever sacrificed for a guy?- Hm. Do you hate your ex boyfriend?- Hm. What attracts you to a guy?- Heh. Hm. Which turns you on? Cute guys or hot guys?- Hm. The most painful thing a guy ever did to you?- Breaking my heart. Okay i think the last sentence is rather stupid so i canceled it off. Hahs. And well, pardon those hmm. haha. GIRLS! Do this quiz okay!? ((: WANTED! (Sorry choonkun!)  Decided to take a break from sims today. No point playing that all day long, it's getting boringgg. Yesterday was pretty much a interesting day. Went out with family to catch 'National treasure' and daddy bought me a new phone. Motorola K3m  National treasure was fantastic. The effect, everything. Hah. Enjoyed watching it(: Some random pictures from the past few days: 1, 2, 3, 4!   Heh.   Yesterday  Yesterday brief post was about gemini's horoscope. Which i think is unlikely to happen. Hahs. If it'd really happen.. Won't that be great? I'd be having a GREAT year. TSK. Quit dreaming lahhh. Friday, December 21, 2007
Life: After a particularly stressful school holiday, you should welcome january with open arms! look at this month as the start of a brand new you! If you start out positively, the rest of the month will be equally full of good cheer. There's even a new crush waiting to be developed in late january. 2008 prediction: A blossoming new relationship will begin early 2008, but whether it will blossom depends on your feelings for that person. The new year will also br significant because a stroke of luck will present you with an unexpected amount of money. Lucky days: 28, 30 Lucky months: august, october HAIL GEMINI!((((((: Thursday, December 20, 2007
Anyone wanna go shopping? I'm dammn bored. Someone entertain meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Brother decided to be irritating today and imitate me. He ran to the door yelling "Ohmygod i'm late! Help me open the door! Faster lah!" And when i opened it for him he said "Lock the door ah! Tell mummy i'll be back for dinner later! "And when i told him to stop being an ass, he said"That's what you do everytime" Sheesh=x I know this sounds weird but, if you hate me or something, can you let me know the reason why? I've been thinking alot. No point making enemies. Monday, December 17, 2007
Girly [x] I love at least one shade of pink. [x] I don't like being messy. [ ] My belongings are organized. [x] I don't like rock music. [x] I like wearing accessories. [ ] Bright colors amaze me. [ ] I hate black. [ ] I go to the salon once a week. [x] I comb my hair almost all the time. [ ] I bring my phone with me everywhere. add up all your marks and multiply it by 10 to know how girly you are. Girly-50% Boyish [ ] I wear baggy pants. [ ] I play video games. [ ] I listen to boy bands like My Chemical Romance, Yellowcard,Switchfoot, etc. [ ]I like wearing jackets with hoods. [ ] I'm too lazy to do chores. [ ] I don't like shopping. [ ] I like to go bungee jumping. [ ] I like being sweaty. [ ] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes. [ ] I barely wear perfume. add up all your marks and multiplyit by 10 to know how boyish you are. Boyish-0% Nerdy [ ] I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket. [ ] I enjoy studying. [x] I wear glasses. [ ] I'm a straight-A student. [ ] I've never skipped any class in my whole life. [ ] I like my shirt tucked in. [x] My favorite subject is science. [x] I enjoy reading books. [ ] My assignments are passed up on time. [ ] I correct people with their grammar. add up all your marks and multiply itby 10 to know how nerdy you are.Nerdy-30% Emo [x] I love the color black. [x] I always sit at the corner. [ ] One side of my hair is coveringone of my eyes. [ ] I like listening to metal rock music. [x] I have a lot of problems in my life. [x] I'm not much of a loud person. [x] I don't talk much. [x] I don't have that much friends. [x] I barely have fun. [ ] I barely go out with my folks or friends. add up all your marks and multiply itby 10 to know how emo you are.Emo-70% Childish [ ] I am open to my parents. [ ] I sleep with a stuff toy. [x] I watch cartoons. [x] I don't like watching horror movies. [ ] I sleep with a night light. [ ] My parents are the ones who choose my outfit. [x] I'm scared of roller coasters. [ ] I like being with my family relatives . [ ] I take bubble baths. [ ] Burnt an ant or ate an ant add up all your marks and multiply itby 10 to know how childish you are.Childish-30% I'm 50% Girly, 0% Boyish, 30% Nerdy, 70% Emo, 30% Childish.
Yikes, i'm those emo types-.- Thankyou Joan for listening to my ramblings(: Really cheered me up alot. Anyway, faster come out from the * lah. -.- So sloww. Haha Sunday, December 16, 2007
Okay. I've just realised something. I've got NOBODY to chat with and talking with choonkun started to get super boringg. *Sigh* Let me find a new talking partner. Mummy bought Unoattack for bro this christmas. $30 something. Gosh=x 30 secrets About Yourself. Be honest no matter what. [One] Who was your last text from? Choonkun (Saying something abouuut. Asthma-.-) [Two ] Where was your default picture taken? From the internet (Msn DP) [Three] What's your FULL name? Tanjingyi [Four] Your current status? Single [Five ] What is your current mood? Lonely=x [Six ] How old are you? 14 lah. [Seven] If you could go back in time and change something, would you? Yea. [Eight ] What's your favorite color/s? Black white pink [Nine ] Ever had a near death experience? Nuh-uh [Ten] Something you do a lot? Hmm. Not really sure. [ Eleven] Who can you tell ANYTHING to? Myself! (I don't trust anyone to a hugehugehuge extend okay) [ Twelve ] Name someone with the same birthday as you. Johnny depp. (Fwarhaha, but he's way older than me-.-) [ Thirteen] If you could have one super power what would it be? Read people's mind , even within miles away. [Fourteen] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hmm. Not sure. [Fifteen] Favorite season? Winter! (But hey, it's singapore-.-) [Sixteen] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yea. All the time=x [Seventeen ] What are you eating or drinking at the moment? Nuh-uh [Eighteen] What language do you speak? English, chinese [Nineteen] Describe your life in one word. Failure (How about changing the question to "Describe yourself in one word?" [Twenty] Do you have any tattoos? Nuh-uh [Twenty-one ] Who was the last person you hung out with? Uh. Can't remember-.- [Twenty-two ] What are you thinking about right now? About completing this STUPID quiz. [ Twenty-three] What should you be doing? Studying=x [ Twenty-four] Who was the last person that made you upset? . [Twenty-five] What are you listening to? Nothing [Twenty-six ] Do you like working inthe yard? No yard. Haha [Twenty-seven] Who is with you? Nobody. [Twenty-eight] Do you act different around the person you like?♣ No [Twenty-nine] What is your natural hair color? Black [Thirty] Last time you were really happy? Ho. That? Ages ago. Can't seem to breath properly last night. =x And choonkun said i'm having asthma attack. That sicko. I never had a asthma attack before so don't curse me hokay. Had trouble sleeping for that night. Seriously lah. If i went to sleep, i might stop breathing. Hahs. Than isn't that great then? I might die and those people who hate me can throw a party. Whateverrrrr. And suddenly i'm missing lucinda jolyn yunzhen and lizhen. *Sigh* Feel like talking to them. *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh* Someone chat with me!!! &You really changed. You're not the good friend i've known and trusted before. Goodbye to those good times. Hello reality. Saturday, December 15, 2007
Goodbye for now, Let me wallow in self-pity. I'm keeping my heart locked in a cage. Not opening it forever.. Finally, things are settled, and everything's at peace. I hope you're satisfied. Because isn't this what you wanted? Today----------- 1. Talk to a boy/girl you like? No. 2. Learn anything new? Yes, boys are bastards who can't keep promises. 3. Talk to an ex? No. 4 . Miss someone? .. Last Person Who------------- 5. Laid in bed beside you? Nothing. 7. You went to the movies with? Joan choonkun marcus and . 8. Went to the mall with? Band committee. (Went cp to slack yesterday) 10. Made you laugh? Choonkun. 11. Said they loved you? .. General stuff----------- 18 . What are you most scared of? Being lonely, alone. 19. When do you want to get married? Not sure. 22. Does anyone like you? No. 23. Have you cried recently? Yesterday. 24. Are you lonely right now? Hmm. Maybe? 25. Song stuck in your head? True love's kiss. (You know what? I seriously hate that song) 26. Ever been on radio/TV? Yea. once. 28. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Hmm. Maybe? 30. Talked to someone you haven't talked to in a while? No. 32. How much cash do you have on you right now? $0 33. Are you bored? Yes. 34. Whats your favorite show? Witch yoo hee. 35. Who got you to join Myspace? Din't join myspace. 37. Wish someone was next to you in the morning when you wake up? No. (I look crappy today-.-) 38.What website do you visit most? My blog lahh. 39. Do you have any plants in your room? No. 40. Who was the last person to text you? Choonkun. All these sound really depressing=x Friday, December 14, 2007
Leadership training today was rather fun. Rode bicycle with miaoying at first. Haha. With me sitting in front. Was super fun. x) Ride Joan and Choonkun afterwards. Was okay though. Din't fall. Went back cp and had lunch. Gastric happened again and had no appetite to eat. Went home afterwards. Found out that mummy haven't reach home yet and sat downstairs(in the playground) for an hour plus. Saw this really adorable kid(Whom i don't know) who ran up to me and said " Jiejie, you see!" and gave me his toy. Gosh=x I smiled at him and return him his toy. He's soooo adorable! I've been thinking alot. This won't do. It's over. All over. Things aren't the same as before. We've all changed. Maybe it's time to move on. I promise. This will be the last time i'll let my tears fall for guys. They're not worth it. Friends eventually becomes acquaintance. Good friends eventually becomes friends. Boy/girl friends eventually becomes just mere acquaintance. Enemies forever remains as enemies. That's what usually happen. So people. Make more enemies. They're the only thing that last forever. Thursday, December 13, 2007
How can it be possible that 1) I play the frenchhorn 2) I played eflat horn before 3) They suggested a nickname horny for the wacko game today 4) People born on 4thjune - 13june are the hornbeam tree Is this just pure coiceidence that there's a total of 4 'horn's in my life, or am i really fated with horn such that my life revolves around it? Fwarhahaha. Leadership training today was sort of okay. Wacko was as usual. Considering we know each others for about a year, they decided to make the game more And without knowing why, i've got 'horny' which is absolutely lame. -.- Lihua is Pangsai(fwarharharrrha) Choonkun is Chicken little Xinli is Choy Weizheng is Xiaozheng Weilong is Xiaolong Mengliang is Ah meng Miaoying is Laoying Kamchou is Ah kam Elisse is Ah chan(i think) Joan is Chatterbox(Haha) Hanwei is Weige(-.-''') Charmaine is Ah lam Yoongluck is Lucky Brandon is Kola(hahaha) And when everyone got sick and bored of the game, they changed all the names starting with 'Ah'. Lol. Imagine how awful some people's name sound. I'm Ahyi(-.-''''') Joan is Ahbox(Fwarhaha) Miaoying is Ahying(Sounds reasonable luuuuhh=x) Lihua is Ahli Brandon is Ahko Weilong is Ahlong Weizheng is Ahzheng Choonkun is Ah Hanwei is Ah(I dont know what. Lol. Some ahneh name i think-.-) And the rest is the same. Heh. Was rather fun actually. Husband and wife was okay okay. Ran with Elisse, Charmaine, choonkun and brandon(Which i ran quite alot of time with brandon) It was quite fun actually. Considering i din't fall and hurt myself, and nobody pulled me very hard. Haha. Was suprised though. Guys are supposed to be rough and ungentlemanly. Ho. Dog and bone was VERY violent. Really really violent. Lol. Un-describable. Ho. Musical chair was lame. Hah. The rest was okay. Footdrills afterwards. Comand. =x Was veryyveryyy bad. Voice shook. Lol. Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Had a long lonng lonnnnng, boring day today. Studied english and science. And i FINALLY finish the english notes. Hurrraayy! It's going to be overdue soon and i thank god i finally finished it. Oh wait. Maybe it's overdue. Omigosh. What if it's overdue? Jeesh. I seriously don't remember when i borrowed it. And WHERE i threw the recipe! Gosh=x Die die die die die die die die die die die. Had a rather interesting conversation with lihua now. Haha. Talking aboutt. In laws. ;D Bye peeps! Monday, December 10, 2007
Chatted with choonkun for about an hour. Started off disscussing maths, trying to solve a reaal hard maths question that we BOTH don't know. And i'm sooo gonna kill theidioticpersonwhosetthispaper if that question is a mistake made by thatsameidioticpersonwhohaveabsolutelynocommonsensetosetitproperlyforthosewhoaretryingtosolvethatidioticquestion. Okay sorry, it's a tad too long =x And we tried every single method we can think of and even tried working backwards. Hell, have pity! Called mrsyaw afterwards. Lol. Turns out she's going overseas. While i decided that it's pointless to do maths, choonkun suggested we ask mrkoh. For goodness sake, from every single teachers he can choose from, he rather suggest mrkoh. And here's what i told him "He can't even teach us science and what on earth made you think he can teach us MATH!? And is he even a maths teacher?" "Ya. He's a maths teacher what. You see our yearbook, he appeared it the maths department. "Yea right. I think he probably stumble upon it when the maths teachers are taking the picture." And he laughed for quite some time. Like hell it's funny. People changes, they all do. But youre changing too. I wonder why.. Sunday, December 9, 2007
I think i shall blog long today. Don't ask me why, i just feel like doing so. Went shopping at OG and somewherebutidontknowwherebutithinkit'ssomewherenearbugis yesterday. Considering that i haven't been shopping for ages(since the trip to malaysia) and well, it's quite okay. (Honestly Jingyi! What do you mean by 'quite okay'? Jeez. I've got no idea anyway.) Bought a jacket in OG and black skinny jean. FWARHAHAH. I finally can cancel those off my wishlist and add in something else. =x Was supposed to do homework after GOONG-S(lastepisode) but got influenced by my dad who kept saying wah fann wong ah. wah andy lau ah. wah whatever lah-.- You get the picture. So in conclusion, i din't do anyway homework =x Woke up around 8.45am today. Watched 'Robbie and the book of tales' and than have breakfast. Anyway. I think that's a prettyy great show lah. It's not at all childish. (Fairytales are DEFINITELY NOT childish=x) And i think that woman's great being a witch. You can judge them by HOW they laugh. Haha. I mean that's what witches do all day right? Laugh laugh glare glare laugh laugh and still, laugh. Haha. I'm being reaallly random-.- Than watched doraemon. Lol. And than danny phantom. And than went out with family to my grandad's 88th birthday celebration. Wore my dress and my earings which miaoying claims it to be 'dramatic'. Lol. Reached the restaurant and i realised that there's an additional number of people kids in my huge huge family(dad's side). Sat there and daydreamed stare at uh nothing? Eat and eat and yack and eat. Than cut the cake, took some pictures, and than it's bye bye. Anyway, my cousin lost her handphone and wallet. Claims she left it in the toilet. And hell, she can still eat and smile. I mean, seriously. Would YOU smile if you lost your handphone? Sheesh=x Thats all for today i guess.      Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I've got nothing to do and weell, surfed around people's blog. Found out that 2e4's blog got this poll thing. Lol. Really quite lame. Anyway, i can't believe i'm rather slow actually. It's posted on 24nov, and hell, today's 4dec! Gosh=x Okay. Just finished viewing the polls. It's rather retarded-.-"" Haha. I might try creating one myself. I've seriously got nothing to do. I don't know why, but i'm feeling sort of restless. Like something is really not right. I don't know. I can't even KNOW what the hell i'm feeling/thinking! And homeworks are suchhh a bother. It's the hols and well, there's mannyy maths homework. Gosh=x I really hope i'm able to finish it on time. I'm lazing around for quite some time already. Time to buck up dudddde. Same goes for frenchhorn, piano, sec3 stuffs. Throat infections' over. Anyone want to have sectionals? Let me know hokays? (((: Boys, are suckers. Okay. SOME. Today was supposed to be fun. Really fun. Supposed Thankyou, choonkun for spoiling all the fun we had. Not in a mood to elaborate. .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) .jpg) Monday, December 3, 2007
Hanwei and choonkun went running. Sheeesh. I'm damn bored. There's nothing to do and i can't play the horn! I've got throat infection. And there's nobody to chat with me. To hell with everyone. Saturday, December 1, 2007
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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